4 ways mindfulness turns stress into a good thing
In today's corporate world, productivity, busyness, and their accompanying levels of stress, are often equated with success and self-worth. Yet, we rarely slow down to notice that running to the next obligation without stopping to breathe, think, or eat, can have a detrimental effect on our physical and emotional wellbeing. When we’re constantly on the go, we reinforce a chronic stress response, also called the “fight or flight” response.
In times of actual physical danger such as swerving to avoid a car crash or fleeing to safety from a predatory animal, this stress response is applicable. However, the same physiological response isn’t necessarily appropriate for the modern world “threats” like an inbox overflowing with emails, preparing for an important Zoom presentation, or a growing “to-do” list, or feelings of shame, embarrassment, or grief.
While the above sources of stress are unavoidable, we have the power to avoid a negative response. With practice and patience, changing your perspective around perceived sources of stress can make a world of a difference in your reaction to them.
What the experts say: stress is an indicator you care.
There’s no way to completely eliminate stress, but not all stress is detrimental. The latest science shows that different types of stressful situations provoke various physiological responses, but in almost all scenarios, stress is an indicator that we care about something, rather than solely a cause for concern.
According to Justin Menkes, the author of Better Under Pressure: How Great Leaders Bring Out the Best in Themselves and Others, how much stress you feel is directly correlated to the importance of the activity. “If it didn’t matter, you wouldn’t worry,” says Menkes. Choosing to see the connection between stress and the importance of the activity can help bring us back to the value and purpose behind the why of our actions.
In the Upside of Stress, health psychologist Kelly McGonigal writes,
““Even though most people view stress as harmful, higher levels of stress seem to go along with things we want: love, health, and satisfaction with our lives.””
In other words, we need a certain amount of stress in our lives to motivate us, to learn and grow from past experiences, and to perform at our peak functionality.
Step 1: “Check-in” with your current stress mindset, then adjust accordingly.
Learning how to “stress less” starts with reclaiming control over the way you perceive stress so that you can experience it in a new, positive, and empowering way. Notably, the positive connotations of stress have been slow to the uptake. While we all understand the implications of “distress,” few are familiar with its counterpart -- “eustress” which helps us rise to an exciting challenge. The physical and emotional benefits of eustress arise when a person perceives stress as a positive -- as an opportunity to rise to what could be perceived as an exciting challenge.
A simple technique to check-in with your perception of stress is to scan the physical symptoms that manifest when you’re feeling overwhelmed or under pressure. Your heart is pounding, your palms are sweating, and your thoughts are racing. You’re experiencing the classic signs of stress, right? But what if you’re just excited about what’s to happen?
While these symptoms are certainly indicators of stress, the same symptoms could be experienced with excitement -- only the context determines how we distinguish one from the other.
The next time you say “I’m stressed,” check in with your situation to see if you can reframe this thought with “I’m excited.”
Step 2: Stop your mind from wandering by focusing on the breath.
If excitement isn’t a plausible way to reframe the situation, try to use the breath as a tool to bring you back to the present task at hand. Ian Robertson, the author of The Stress Test states “Our minds wander on average 160 times a day, and this kind of unfocused worrying during stressful times can lead to anxious thoughts that can spiral into a vicious cycle of anxiety, procrastination or poor performance.”
By consciously breathing slowly and deeply, you interrupt the brain’s default to a loop of negative thinking. Additionally, deep breaths bring more oxygen into your lungs and consequently, into your bloodstream, which is the exact opposite effect of the “fight or flight” reaction.
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As you inhale, count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. As you exhale, count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Slowly work your way up to a count of 10 during each cycle of breath.
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Step 3: Focus on what you can control, then work towards those goals.
Seeing stress as a result of an opportunity you’ve accepted in order to reach a higher goal may help you feel more motivated and in control over the situation. While you can’t always control external circumstances like how someone else behaves, you can control your actions and attitude.
When you find yourself worrying, take a few minutes to practice what psychologists call the Island Experiment: draw two circles to represent each “island.” One island contains a list of the things you can control, the other contains things that are out of your control. Even if it’s small, choose an obtainable task from the first island. Remind yourself of the why behind this task: does it help to support someone you love? Perhaps, it’s to achieve something at work?
Once we remember the intention behind a challenging task, we can strengthen our ability to reframe our perception and focus on the good that will arise from achieving our goals.
Step 4: Practice, and don’t be afraid to begin again.
You may recognize all of the above represent simple mindfulness exercises. Following the breath, observing our thoughts without judgement, and/or paying attention to sensations in the body can go a long way in reducing a habitual reaction of distress. If a positive response to stress isn’t your default reaction yet, don’t get discouraged -- progress takes time, and you can always begin again.
As with any new habit, retraining the brain to focus on the good requires a regular practice of acknowledging the why behind a feeling, focusing on things you can control, and remembering that how you think almost always determines your experience.